Dedicated to Joy

For 2011, we remember what we learned from the movie UP

• It's not too late to pursue your dream
• It's not too late to achieve your dream
• It's not too late to realize that obtaining your dream is not so important after all
• It's not too late to find peace after a tremendous loss or disappointment
• It's not too late to find fulfillment and happiness in the simpler things that are right in front of you

Thank you Joy!

Dietary Constraint

• Optimists get damned for painting rosy pictures.
• Realists are considered fickle because their opinions change with the weather.
• Pessimists wouldn't be happy to be hung with new ropes.
• Surrealists try reading between lines and off pages.
• Philanthropists often fail to atone for injustice.
• Feudalists hold property then pay for it by taking lives.

The smartest thing to do when facing usurp at breakfast is eat fruit.

Too Many Hats to be a Judge

I screwed up with this post: Transition

How so?

I wore too many hats at the same time:

• I explained my Transition to Caregiving.
• Engineering (eBane Explain);
  
• Advocate (MLBerg's ITN blog);
• Surrealism (MLBerg Surrealist);
• Dreamer (for example: Plug me in, Turn me on, & Let me shine!);

I mixed my Personal Journey with your need to know.

Good thing almost nobody understands the Remote Characteristics of caregiving.

Too bad too.

The Act of Caring

Caregiving is a Spiritual Journey.

Why?

Because the giver of care is changed by the act.

Wise Spending

T. Assessment: Financial Planning for Caregivers

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

misguided
accused
labeled
arrested
charged
tried
convicted
alienated
lambasted
abandoned
mistaken

And that's just a MALACTCALAM...
Wait 'till we all get PUDEKCUF by a system that knows no compassion.

(*) Rules for Justice

• Object Actively.
• Resist Passively.
• Take credit for nothing.
• Always presume good will.
• Listen. Actions speak louder than words.
• Keep communication lines open.
• Accept responsibility in behalf of helping others.
• Be grateful for everything.
• We ALL make mistakes--forgive everyone.
  

I know where my heart is

Tell me if you agree with my Present Endeavor. I am seeking the solution to my caregiver advocate dilemma. Obviously my tolerance for what I perceive as unacceptable delay (I started working on this after Linda's cancer in 2003) is low. I'm not trying to piss anybody off (please pardon my Spanish). I tend to get discouraged when I reach (again, what I see as) the perfect resolution of a problem only to find a new impasse. So I now try to wear my "obedient" caregiver's hat on MLBerg's ITN blog and all the rest (food for thought promoting outspoken disagreement with status quo, civil disobedience, unrest, etc) on the other MLBerg sites. For example, when the health insurance company's standard operating procedure is to deny a multitude of coverage and to do so numerous times (knowing some people will just give up) that is an occasion for objecting and infusing new reasons for hope.

Viewers to form their own opinions and pass judgment. Like it or not. We are judged by an enlightened audience.

Or don't tell me anything. The worst part of not receiving feedback is the difference between doing a great job and screwing things up royally is often just a matter of tweaks. The best part of experiencing horrible injustice is the loss of entitlement once reserved to be given to some folks, whether deserved or otherwise.

Support for Caregivers by "Doing"

Support for Caregivers by "Doing" (Note: broken link to kablog--sorry for  the  surprise!)

God Among Us

Every caregiver has a story. Someone will benefit when that story is told. Sometimes it will benefit the caregivers themselves because they truly witness the hand of God at work. Caregiving can be a humbling experience.

Purposes for Caregiver blog

Consider reasons to develop a Caregiver blog network (Cbn).

1. Opportunity for the Caregiver to connect with others in the Caregiving
   Community.
2. Media for the Caregiver to publish updates about the Care-Receiver.
3. Platform for the Caregiver to relinquish worries and concerns.
4. Storefront for purveyors in the Health Care Industry and vendors in the Financial Planning Market.
   

Difficulties and Hard Truths:

1. Nobody has much excess time for developing new caring relationships.
2. The "real time" stressor of caregiving is rarely captured by the media.
3. If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and nobody is there to witness it, does it make any sound? Someone cares.
   
4. We are so inundated with sales calls the natural reaction becomes "turn a deaf ear." Please be patient.
   

What can be done?

1. Collaborate with meaningful aspirations.
   
2. Create face-to-face prospects for interaction.
3. Always try to respond with positive and hopeful attitudes.
4. Believe intuitive reactions and seek life-giving choices.
   

Return To A New Normal

How do we respond to change?

Resilient. Adaptable. Survival.

Rigid. Fixed. Unwavering.

Altered. Reformed. Different.

Denial. Fixation (Loss). xxx.

Opportunity. Hope. (New) Dreams.

xxx.

Recovery.

Grieve not for yourselves but for those who are despairing. We can change. They only imagine they will cope with today.

You've got it bad when...

• Your best supporter needs you to become self-sufficient.
• The one you love doesn't have other options.
• "I don't want your help" becomes a mantra for persons you give care to.

Look fellas. I'm not a doctor. I'm a professional engineer. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I have chosen to become a specialist or an authority on improving my delivery of care. I'm just like you: a caregiver in need of support. I know that if we want to work together we can pull this one off. It may be too late for some things but it's never too late to change.

New Organization: 1.2.3., A., B, C.

Transition...Index... Constellations

http://caregive.weebly.com/

http://mlbergs9.weebly.com/ MLBerg S9
(personal journey)

Caregiver's Manual for Men

How does a left-brained person fare in a right-brained activity (and vice-versa)?

How does a "healthy" individual cope with immense loss, radical change, and impending doom?

CMfM Volume 1: How to Love a Cancer

I Want My Daughter Back

It's not polished and it's not pretty but I wrote this from the heart:

CMfM Volume 1: How to Love a Cancer

No doubt the entire caregiver ordeal with Linda's breast cancer messed me up. I did the best I could with writing the CMfM as user-friendly for near-delirious caregivers and trying to make improved things so some other poor miserable bastard wouldn't lose his mind like I did. Unfortunately I wasn't able to protect Alice. I wonder how things would have been different if I would've just substituted the word "apathy" for "advocate."

I've decided the best thing to do (see What to do?) is to let the site upgrade to WordPress for All Things ITN and get to work compiling CMfM Volume 2: The Prisoner Within. My target date for starting this transition is October 26th. We are very worried about Alice.

So back to you. Caregiving exposed a side of the Holy Spirit to me that I'd never known before. Maybe there's another trick up your sleeve because I don't know how I'm going to make it through this.

Dan

Shhh...keep it quiet. (Scroll down to October 13, 2010) 

Those who do justice shall live in the presence of God.

Tend the sick and dying.

Comfort the afflicted.

Visit the imprisoned.

Heal the wounded.

St. Augustine

When we believe ourselves to be alone--

He is there...

He hears us...

He loves us...

GN. 18:26

Spare me Oh Lord and I shall raise up to you a great offering.

JN. 14:18

I shall not leave you orphans.

MT 5:6

Those who do justice shall live in the presence of God.

Sedition not Treason

What are the consequences of overcharging a case?

• Political gain
• Personal loss
• Implicit criminal behavior
  

Read the interview with Dr. Kleinman:

"ABERNETHY: Between the years 2000 and 2050, it’s estimated that the number of people 65 and over will more than double, and the number 85 and over will quadruple. And the longer people live, the more likely they are to suffer chronic diseases, failures of the body and the brain—to need care."



Society is ill-equipped for the future.

The dynamic involved is larger than just the new relationship between caregiver and care-receiver. The new normal (whatever that may become) isn't only about losses and changes for these two individuals.

The most disturbing fact is we treat people differently whenever caregiving becomes heightened. If this means an improved delivery of care then marvelous; however most likely this will results in public removal of dignity from the human persons.

Society is ill-equipped for the present:

Obligation & Responsibility

The Spin Doctors Are In.

How terrible could it (hopelessness) really be?

Imagine you are anyone else but yourself: Mother Teresa; Teresa's Mother; a Detection Officer; an undetectable offender.

Who makes the Comments About Town?

Does anyone share Obligation & Responsibility or does the media control the truth?

And when they come for your daughter, remember to smile for the cameras.

Glued, Screwed, and Subdued

"I think it bugs me that in order for me to get on with things in life I must necessarily lose touch with some of the hard realities outside my control."

Get a job...doing what?

Get a job...doing what?

Song and Dance

Lyrics

Old Men Acting Up

Unanswered Questions for Alice Zeorlin

Same song, different verse

When you get some time and you're feeling quite eloquent, would you please share your thoughts on this: Collaborate

The Pro's

Imagine/consider that pro-life forces are backing you.

Consider/imagine that pro-choice forces fight for your rights.

If you are not healthy enough to decide which diametrically-opposed pole should be gravitated to, the projudicators will have your ass.

Sing Out

How to Behave

Just imagine we all want the same thing but we have a communication problem.

depressed?

What is it I should be doing? Encouraging young folks to cling to the values of this world? Hardly. Been there. Done that. I eclipsed the 50 mark a few years ago. Now I'm ready for moving on.

But I can't do it by myself. The best that I can hope for at my age and experience level is to guide others for circumventing the tricks and traps of life.

To put it another way, it won't do for me to just take care of myself because it's not me who holds the "Number One" position.

Inundation

On one of those days when "you'll never get enough" becomes "too much, too little, too late" you'll wonder "why didn't anybody tell me...?"

Yin and Yang

Excessive Celebration is easy. Accepting the truth is hard.

Awareness of Unanswered Questions... is obvious. Willingness to do the right thing is essential.

Complicity in hopelessness brings much sorrow. Recognition of "Splintered Realities" and acceptance of diversity is our only hope for the world.

What a pairing, what a team! Who Are We Now?

The Haves & The Have Nots
The givers & the takers
The suckers & the suckees
The thinkers & the doers
The lost & the forsaken
The dumb & the desperate
The movers & the shakers
The hopeless & the abandoned
The reluctant & the unwilling

The Merciful & The Kind
The generous & the forgiving
The strong & the resolute

The Delusional & The Unfocused
The rooster & the hen

The Source of Pride & The Cause for Celebration
The irritant & the reason for denial
The embarrassment & the shame
The opportunity for growth and improvement
near-death & the final humiliation
The silence & the thunderous roar
The pride and the vile discontent
The evil & the source of our disconnect

Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead

"I find this entire situation utterly oppressive."

"O...really?"


Oppression (oppressure)

oppressor (/"oppressee")
oppressive
oppresses
oppressing
oppressed


"I would stop picking them up except that they're just so darned cute."

It is not that complicated

...so the farmer says to the salesman, "Around here we get what we pay for."

Cardiac

It was touching my heart again (see More Heart Shocks), not in a bad way but different. Like an aneurysm I suppose or a bubble pushing out from a piece of gum. Actually it was kind-of fun. Sometimes a leg muscle quivers after exercise and I watch it flop in spastic movement. I imagined my shirt billowing up and collapsing down over the motion.

I said a quick prayer: Lord, use my heart as your own. Guide me. Move me. Send me.

Elementary My Dear Watson

If a man meets every requirement asked of him and yet he receives no support or encouragement for being honest with his beliefs while others strayed far from the truth to obtain their convictions, wouldn't it be logical to conclude his only recourse is to execute the unexpected? For when his truthful actions have no impact on understanding, doesn't it make sense to try something else if just for the sake of arguing the outcome: follow the right reasons…or do the right things. Why allow wrong things to prevail if hopelessness and despair are the ultimate consequence, i.e. does a win-lose situation ever make sense?

Who has the answers?

I could use some help here.

What isn't going to happen?
You can lead a horse to water but you can't rip his lips off.
What can we do about it?
Is there a 5 year plan or must we Change overnight? We need a Hero.
The answer is Caregive first and ask questions later.

Unlawful burdens

Wouldn't it be nice to eliminate some instances of hearing, "You have failed to pass...". This is never going to happen for most situations. We need a means to prevent unqualified resources from mixing with others. However everyone should be qualified to give care.

Blindsided

Imagine the folly of a gardener who plants one seed for each crop. One tomato. One corn. One onion. One bean. And so on.

What? No cutworms expected this year? No hailstorms? No hungry birds? No droughts?

As to what motivated his actions he merely replied: I don't need more for myself and I don't want to produce extras, only to go to waste or to the unambitious.

What kind of farmer are you?

Pills

What kind of thinkers are you? Seat of the pants versus work it out in advance and optimize the options.

Look at this Global Plan - ITN. Now which brainiac was it who sold the public on "the cancer pill" and should they be employed by a pharmaceutical company? Imagine taking a pill that will wash and wax your car! Now imagine taking a pill that will prevent you from ever getting sick with a major illness!

Think about this: we will always get holes in our clothing. However a timely stitch or patch on the affected area may extend the usefulness of the fabric. How are we supposed to find out about repair techniques? Must we always wait until the damage is major and then secure the services of a professional (EG, a tailor).

As a caregiver I learned the answer to this question: Will things ever get better? Yes! Now if only we could find a way to make that bitter pill easier to swallow...

Motto

How does the slogan "Beer--it's not just a breakfast drink anymore." relate to doAble standards? Frame this in the context of an academic consideration and you've got a real quandary.

Well get this. Most things are possible. Not everything is probable. Anything that doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Too much cheese makes you ugly. The guidelines we choose to regulate our lives become so ingrained that they appear set in stone.

Change and become more lifegiving: it's not pretty but it is essential!

Likes and Dislikes

So I'm like, looking, like, for ways I can do volunteer work in, like, established organizations. I found this really cooool website for a literacy tutoring gig but like I'm not sure if like, I'd like it or like, you know, if they'd like me.

The Bold and The Restless are like, worlds apart. Think about the challenges facing professional caregivers in the health care industry.

All that I meant to convey with the MLBerg Caregiver sites was like, insight about the journey from a "family" caregiver's perspective. You don't have to act like you misunderstand me. If I (or other caregivers) try to describe what there is to like about giving care it could be the only reason I haven't taken a job as a volunteer elsewhere. Like it or not.

It Won't Wait

When you caregive for someone you love, what are Acceptable Delays? Are these the same for persons giving care in the health care profession?

• Seeking reconciliation, sinful and sorrowful...now is not the correct time to say we'll do something about this later.

• Aware of mortality, vulnerability, and risks...is the focus on the right things?
  

Who is being served?

Who goes to a Caregiver Conference or attends a National Caregivers Conference? Let me tell you they typically are not structured to listen to guys like me, neither seeking input nor asking for feedback.

Truth in advertising. Is this conference a convenient way for health care professionals to obtain continuing education units?

There really isn't anything wrong with the approach of getting together to learn state of the art concepts. Why should there be a problem with us getting together to learn how to support each other?

Where do new words come from? How are new words made? Who is responsible for defining the meaning of words?

Some words are coined by combining two existing words. For example, a person who is called upon to give care, give care, give care... just might become known as a caregiver.

Merely having words to describe a situation does not solve the problem but it may improve communication and this leads to greater understanding. We may not be well-equipped today but through more appropriate Word Definition we can become better caregivers.

Consensus

Perhaps one of the most confident and reliable methods to achieve positive feedback is to design the end product for meeting the constraints of a problem.

For example, don't be surprised if not everyone in the room likes the color of the wallpaper when nobody could agree on the hue of the original paint.

Take a hypothetical situation, extrapolating limits to develop needs and identify requirements. This frames problem solving as primary and does not add complications to the situation being addressed. In other words we should work on finding a solution and not on changing the room's appearance through accessorizing a predicament with crisis avoidance.

For example, consider a lake full of harvestable fish. Desirability? Are these most accessible via water craft? Will a boat launch or marina be required? Bait? Permits? Enforcement? If you start by working out such details to known troubles, quite possibly you receive will receive feedback something along the lines of "best catch ever."

How should a Men's Caregiver Support Group function? One difficulty in becoming a caregiver is learning to cope with restrictions.

Here is a social restriction: nothing we do should be so discouraging that human dignity is lost. If society condones a practice which damages the value of individual human beings and destroys the sense of self-worth then as a people we are lost.

It becomes obvious that folks in the biz would be committing professional suicide if they were to grab this bull by the horns and offer support without intro0ducing hidden agendas, which might add euphemisms for "dodged another bullet." Liabilities for defusing bombs can result in catastrophe. But so does refusing to take responsibility.

When kids commit suicide on the day before the start of their senior year of high school or when young adults escape the fallacy of career paths by failing to enter the stream of productivity or when mature folks become exasperated and quit trying to stay plugged into the open community because they rejected a direction which globalization has taken...it doesn't take an expert to recognize something is wrong with this picture.

Want to add value? Become a caregiver.

Impasse

I achieved Statistical Process Control. We needed compassion.

You want a miracle. I asked for tolerance.

We expect perfection. I quit.

Explore Pigeon-hole Relationships

Formation of Coping Skills - Exercise #3

Last Laugh

There's no joke
like an old bloke
creating a vast impasse
He shuffles to damn-it
and muggles to ham-it
conditioning of his past

We all saw its coming
This penchant for bumming
was hardly sustained when "Sinned"
Yet ne-er were we daunted
Aware that they started
a fight to the bitter end

Give It A Rest

Academic advancements do not excuse behavioral deficiencies. It runs both ways. The details for pursuing and achieving dreams are slowly revealed over the course of a lifetime. Unless the good old boys suck it up we might never get out of this rut.

Hello World

Hello World

Control Your Dog...

Control

So Now You Know

In July 2007 I set myself on a quest:

How To Become A Better Caregiver

I could only conceive of ways to help others with their own burdens:

Caregiver Defined

I tried to communicate the words that people on both sides could agree with. It is so very hard to convince people that if they can't find motivation to do someone else a favor, they should do themselves a favor in the names of the ones they love.

Favors

Strong Advice Influences An Unaffirmed Soul

A good night's sleep. Peaceful dreams.

Faith and confidence that the world turns out right.

Hope for tomorrow, strength for today.

We both influence and are influenced by the company we keep.


Leverage gained through ill-gotten means...

Surely we infect the attitude of recovery.


Unintelligible utterances. Duty: Do your best or go away.

Happy Alligator Smile

Happy Alligator Smile

Things within my control, to be managed

self-care
feelings
thoughts
reactions
communicating with others

I promise to become more connected in the moment, in the family, in real time

These are not isolated incidents
Information builds knowledge
Knowledge is power
Blind Obedience is Absolute Power

Develop my abilities
Pursue my interests

I am not attempting to hasten our demise;
Neither am I trying to prolong our good fortunes at the expense of others

Maintain levels of compassion
no dropped balls
no throwing balls over fences

Allow synergy to function
Accept options of synergy and missed opportunities

...ultimately the best I have and will offer is in e-time

Partial Constellation Maps (in process)

Principal Sites


http://mlberg.spaces.live.com/ MLBerg's Caregiver blog

https://mlberg.wordpress.com/ MLBerg Surrealist

Satellites

http://mlbergs4.blogspot.com/ MLBerg S4

http://mlbergs5.zooloo.com/?page_name=_Graffiti MLBerg S5

http://mlbergs6.blog.com/ MLBerg S6


http://mlbergs9.weebly.com/ MLBerg S9

Wildfire

We've got a real pressure cooker going on here. We're seeking an interpretation Every Day that isn't interpreted so darkly.

Please be patient. Inferno 3 may be about as clear as it can get.


Inferno 3
Lost.
It is over.
Reaped, sown,
Bound or released.
Weep for the lucky ones.
I have entered hell for good.
Optimists justify reasons to hope:
Redeem second-hand chances and save!
But stories tell the incredible survival burden.
Ordinary men rule a-la carte and compassion dies.
Who endeavors to end life? Opportunists exploit desires.
Sadly, those unfavored ones are tried against sins of humanity.
Where does runoff flow? Does it harm our systems? What success?
Touched by the angel avenger—fearing death—our unknowing is consoled.
Miserable bastards won't refrain from evil and their ultimate source of joy decays.
Leverage is gained from enduring unbearable pain while mitigating oppressive tactics.
One can pick up the pieces and try laying them down straight but holes get deeper and deeper and deeper...
Faith hurts, dulling worth by introducing instances of discovery, occasionally bold, never lucid, waiting is always wrong.
Yet you seek to know how much? You will learn the hard way. The sucky part that comes won’t be conveyed in words to mere mortals.
Taint of greed and irresponsibility shadows life above ground. Corruption, cancers, and incarceration abound as miscommunication evades goodness.

Descending so destruction can claim the entitled is never pretty.

Inferno 2

Look.
It is over.
Reap and sow.
Bind and release.
Weep for the have-nots.
I have entered hell for good.
Optimists justify reasons for lying.
Hopelessness stinks badly while burning.
Liars depreciate the incredible burden of truth.
Honesty tastes foul when ordinary is chosen a-la carte.
Most of the exploited were human once; who kills to save men?
Trial is to Justice as Peace is to the Tortured Soul: Inseparable, sadly.
Touched by the angel, deluded by the situation, damned by the unknowing.
Miserable bastards don't refrain from evil intentions, ultimately a source of downfall.
It is difficult to gain experience with surviving unbearable wrongs without persistent oppressors.
You can pick up the pieces and try laying them down again but holes gets deeper and deeper and deeper...
Depression wins, dulling worth by introducing instances of doubt, occasionally bold, never lucid, waiting, always wrong.

Unanswered Questions for Alice Zeorlin

Listen to “The Danger of a Single Story.” You will find it compelling and gripping. How ironic that, for some, Alice is a single story which we know to be dangerously untrue.

Unanswered Questions for Alice Zeorlin